Stuff for Dads

  Army of Two: The 40th Day (Xbox 360)

Rated: 18.

Story: You are a mercenary hired to do a simple piece of infiltration work in Shanghai. As soon as you pull it off, however, the whole city goes up in flames. You and your partner are left to fight your way to safety through a lawless disaster zone overrun by the private army of a lunatic.

That said, you still find time for witty banter about pandas...

Gameplay: The 40th Day is a shooter where you view the action from over the shoulder of one of a pair of mercenaries. It's essentially a case of working forwards through each level, moving from cover to cover and taking out the enemy soldiers with a selection of sniper rifles, machine guns, grenades and pistols.

In the single-player game, you can order your partner with a tap of a button to advance, stay close or defend their position. A second tap makes them more aggressive, dealing out greater punishment but drawing heavier fire on themselves. While they're busy distracting the enemy, you can flank armoured positions or snipe from hiding.

On occasion, the pace is broken up by opportunities to rescue hostages or steal supplies. This requires a little more stealth and subtlety. You're also given a few situations where you must choose whether to help others or simply look out for yourself.

The game can be played cooperatively by two players (either on the same console or over Xbox LIVE).

Save System: Automatic saving on a regular basis. Checkpoints are only a few minutes apart.

Comments: I wasn't sure what to expect from The 40th Day. I didn't play the original Army of Two but I don't recall the reviews being particularly flattering. It also promised to be a similar ordeal to Gears of War 2 which I got bored with long before the end. I imagined an endless slog through a succession of brown corridors, interrupted only by an occasional irritating boss battle...

I was amazed to discover a colourful and well-paced game involving plenty of blasting and explosions combined with just enough strategy to keep it interesting but not overly taxing.

The game is obviously going to be most fun played with a friend but it's still very enjoyable played solo. The artificial intelligence of your partner is good enough to pull off satisfying pincer movements and gives a genuine illusion of working as a team. An 'Aggro' meter, showing which of you is attracting the most attention, makes enemy behaviour easily understandable. The result is a single-player campaign which is effortlessly more entertaining than either Gears 2 or Resident Evil 5.

The experience is helped by the fact that someone else appears to have finally realised that there are a few simple things to avoid when creating a computer game. Joyously, The 40th Day has a lack of pointless padding, irritating alarms and superfluous story. The save system is friendly, you can see what's going on and it's possible to select the difficulty level each time you play. Even better, there are no frustrating, tedious boss battles - only some extra-tough grunts who turn up every so often to force a change in tactics.

From the level design to stage content, there just seems to have been more thought than usual applied to The 40th Day. The hostage rescues and some gung-ho shoot-out sections make a refreshing change from the vehicle and turret interludes that are almost obligatory in the genre. Even the cover system works differently from most other games. Instead of pressing a button to 'stick' to cover, you simply stand or crouch behind it. You then control which way you peer out from behind it by switching your view from one shoulder to another. This takes getting used to but it quickly becomes a very natural way of doing things.

All the care which has gone into the game does make the few minor niggles all the more baffling, though. Why aren't there options for balancing the sound volume between speech, effects and music, for instance? What about subtitles? These are oddly basic omissions. I also encountered a bug in the controls menu. Inverting the y-axis (i.e. making it so that pushing the thumbstick up made me look down) failed to work first time. I was unable to shoot straight until I'd restarted the game and briefly tried the left-handed control setting. After that, inverting worked fine but I'd almost given up on being able to play the game by then.

I'm glad I persevered, though. As a spectacle, Army of Two: The 40th Day has more explosions than most action films and yet still contains more to think about. As a game, it's a linear third-person shooter without many new ideas. Nonetheless, some clever tweaks to the formula make it vibrant and engaging. How often do you get to ponder the failings of modern society while sneakily shooting bad guys in the head from behind a dead hippo?

Conclusion: Explosive, cathartic and really rather good.

Graphics: Technically competent and frequently artistically striking. It may not have the detail of some other similar games but it's a lot more interesting to look at. I kept having to stop to gaze at the scenery.

Length: Short (although the 6 or 7 hours it takes to play through the single-player campaign has become pretty much standard for this kind of thing). Getting to see the outcome of different moral choices encourages a replay.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review, Xbox 360

 
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  Risen (Xbox 360)

Rated: 16+.

Story: Some generic fantasy world has undergone a cataclysm thanks to the release of a whole load of titans. You're shipwrecked on a small island that's remarkably untouched by the chaos elsewhere. (Well, apart from the ancient temples full of deadly monsters which have risen out of the ground, that is.)

You rifle the corpses of your shipmates for supplies search the beach for survivors and then head inland, looking for clues as to what is going on. The stern warriors of the king's Inquisition have taken control of the only town and have a plan to deal with the titans. Are they part of the problem in the first place, though? Then again, the rebels led by the former governor, Don Esteban, are a dubious bunch, too...

Gameplay: This is a serious role-playing game. The kind where you have to blat countless opponents over the head to gain enough experience to go up a level and then spend ages sifting through your character's inventory in order to trade items and equip the best loot. There are quests to go on and dungeons to explore. There are also endless monsters to be eaten by because your armour's rubbish and you haven't levelled up your sword skill enough.

You control a single character from a third-person perspective. Combat is surprisingly tricky, involving a mix of timing, footwork and strategic use of the environment. Going up a level brings learning points which can be used to improve skills, provided you can find a suitable trainer and enough gold to pay them. Skills range from sword and bow proficiency to alchemy (for making potions), lock picking, prospecting, smithying and sneaking. Later on, magical abilities can be learned as well, allowing such things as telekinesis, levitation and transformation.

Save System: Save at any time. It's a pretty slow and clunky process, though, considering how often you'll want to save. See those ostrich things just next to the start location? They'll kill you. See that wolf over there? It'll kill you. See its four friends hiding in the undergrowth? They'll kill you quickly. See that empty corridor? It will kill you quicker than that... Then the lizardmen hiding round the corner will kill you some more, just to make sure.

Comments: I'm a big fan of the sort of computer role-playing games that are descended from Dungeons & Dragons. I can't be doing with the tedious battles and melodrama of Japanese RPGs but I like exploring ruins, collecting loot, running errands for villagers and agonising over whether to spend my next upgrade on improving my lock picking or sword skills. I originally bought my 360 to play Oblivion and didn't regret it.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you shouldn't play Risen. Simple as that. Risen is for fans of the genre. It doesn't pander to newcomers and is full of foibles and irritations that only veterans will put up with. If you like the sound of exploring an open world and living the life of a wandering adventurer, play Oblivion and Fallout 3 first. If you love them, Risen might be worth a look.

Since Oblivion came out, similar releases have been thin on the ground. There's been maybe one a year - Two Worlds, Mass Effect, Fallout 3 and Sacred 2. (I suppose Fable 2 counts as well but it's more an adventure with RPG elements than a full RPG.) I've had to make do with what was available. Despite all their flaws, I quite enjoyed Two Worlds and Mass Effect.

Risen should be onto a winner. It's easily better than Two Worlds and much more complex and expansive than Mass Effect. The only problem is that two similar games came out in the same month - Ego Draconis and Dragon Age Origins - and, in the New Year, there's Two Worlds 2 and Mass Effect 2. Suddenly there's competition in the world of wandering exploration and looting.

Risen doesn't really seem to have been expecting this...

The game goes out of its way to kick you in the teeth. This is probably best exemplified by the way it displays a gold value for treasure you find but only ever lets you trade stuff for one-fifth of the marked price. Handing over mountains of treasure for almost no return is demoralising. Much of the game is taken up by scraping together the gold essential for training. This involves fighting monsters but fighting monsters without being killed requires getting some training.

Gah.

All in all, Risen is rock hard. On 'Normal' difficulty, it's consistently as difficult as Fallout 3 ever gets on 'Very Hard'. This can be tiresome. That said, there are well-designed dungeons, excellent quests and some interesting moral dilemmas as you decide which faction to side with. For every flaw, there's a fantastic feature to be discovered - if you're prepared to persevere. It can easily take twenty hours to get to the point of learning basic magic, for instance. The dialogue is well-written but presented in a tedious manner. Some elements of the interface are cunningly adapted for the Xbox, others are ripped straight from the PC and are laborious without a mouse...

It's a bit of a mess.

It's not broken, though, and it's already being sold cheap. If you know your bolts from your arrows and your teleport stone from your ice crystal, it'll make you smile (when you're not gnashing your teeth in frustration).

Conclusion: The very definition of a 3/5 game. If you like complex, free-roaming RPGs that take their influence from Tolkien rather than manga, then you'll get plenty of enjoyment from Risen. If you don't, or you're not sure, you're liable to give up in disgust after half an hour.

Graphics: Dark and rough but adequate. An update from Xbox LIVE fixes the worst problems but you'll still have to be willing to put up with distant objects popping up from nowhere, combined with some stutter when the action gets hectic.

Length: Very long.

Rating: 3/5.

Labels: computer game review, Xbox 360

 
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  Halo Wars (Xbox 360)

Rated: 16+.

Story: Twenty years before the events of Halo, a human military expedition sent to clean up remnants of a Covenant invasion on the colony world of Harvest discovers the aliens unearthing an ancient installation left by the mysterious Forerunners. What is found inside leads to a chase across uncharted space, a battle for survival, a first encounter with the Flood and plenty of clicking on lots of little green tanks to send them off to pummel lots of little purple ones.

Gameplay: Halo Wars is a real-time strategy game. In the single-player story, you get to control the human forces over fifteen missions as they battle various aliens. Most missions begin with establishing a base and choosing what buildings it should contain (e.g. barracks for producing infantry, a vehicle factory for tanks, multiple reactors to allow more advanced units, etc). Once the base is up and running, it's a case of manufacturing military units, moving a pointer where you want them to go and then sending them off to explore and fight. The quantity of resources available to build units is mainly determined by the number of supply depots in your base.

Mission objectives vary. Examples include: destroying all the opposing forces, holding out for a set amount of time, protecting civilian vehicles and escaping to an extraction point.

Save System: Save at any time. (Hurray!)

Comments: There's something about ordering tiny soldiers into battle that's quite compelling. There's a thrill from looking down on the battlefield, taking command of the situation and carving out new territory. I like to take my time over my planning, though, and way up the odds of every skirmish. As such, I tend to find real-time strategy games somewhat unsatisfying. The speed of events makes me panic and simply charge as many units as I can produce in the direction of the enemy, hoping to eventually wear them down. That this approach usually works is both a relief and a disappointment. I prefer turn-based gameplay which relies more on thoughtful tactics than lightning fast use of a controller.

The last real-time strategy (RTS) game I played at any length was Warcraft 2. That was over ten years ago. I suspect there have been plenty of advances in the genre since, most noticeably in terms of depth and complexity. Halo Wars takes a different approach, however. It's real-time strategy for beginners. Everything has been simplified and streamlined. There's no need to mine resources, pore over complicated technology trees or co-ordinate multi-pronged attacks with ninja levels of dexterity. Halo Wars cuts quickly to the fun bit of amassing a big army and sending it out to cause explosions. Strategic input is mainly limited to constructing a suitable mix of units for any given situation and making sure bases are upgraded quickly and efficiently. Far from being a letdown, though, this makes the game fun and accessible.

Halo Wars knows its own limitations and moves forward at a swift pace. The high production values, involving story and short, varied missions distract attention from the shallow nature of gameplay. Combined with a perfectly adequate control scheme and a brief but eventful campaign, these features provide a great introduction to the joys of being an armchair general without the frustration or head-scratching that other games can bring.

Conclusion: RTS for Halo fans with two left thumbs and a short attention span.

Graphics: Excellent. Units are detailed and clear and easy to tell apart. The movie sequences are amongst the best in any game.

Length: Short. Most single-player missions are around thirty minutes long on normal difficulty. There are extra maps which don't form part of the story, though.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review, Xbox 360

 
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  Mirror's Edge (Xbox 360)

Rated: 16+.

Story: In a city of the near future where Big Brother has taken control, you are Faith, a courier who carries illicit information for her clients, sprinting over rooftops to evade the authorities.

Then your sister gets framed for murder and it's up to you to discover what's going on.

This involves much jumping, somersaulting and falling great heights to your doom. Again and again and again and again...

Gameplay: Mirror's Edge is a first-person adventure/platformer. You see through Faith's eyes as you try to navigate your way between skyscrapers. Things to jump off or hurdle are shaded red as you approach to make them obvious against the stark white of much of the landscape. You can slide under obstacles, wall-run, barge through doors, shimmy up drainpipes and generally leap about in an insane kind of fashion.

Rather frequently, cops get in the way and you can disarm them, give them a kicking or take their guns and shoot at them. Well, you can on the rare occasions when they come at you one at a time. Most often, you have to run away before a group of them gun you down in a rather heavy-handed fashion.

Save System: Autosaved checkpoints at erratic intervals.

Comments: When it works, this game is great. Vaulting a crate, sprinting across a plank over a sheer drop, sliding under some pipes, hurling yourself over a chasm and then somersaulting to land running and barge through a door in one flowing series of movements is hugely exhilarating.

Sadly, this seldom actually happens, since it's all too easy to misjudge things and slam into an obstacle, losing momentum, or simply fluff it completely and plummet, screaming, into the depths. This is no fun. Frequently it's not even fair. The game punishes small errors in timing and aim with instant death and then sends you back rather further than you'd like. To encourage a fast pace, cops chase you everywhere. By Level 3, they have a helicopter gunship. This makes much of the game a panicked run through an obstacle course without clear direction markers. This usually leads to hitting a dead end and getting shot, or falling from a great height. It's not fun.

To make matters worse, much of the game takes place inside, turning it into a first-person Tomb Raider as you try to climb and shimmy your way around in buildings full of near-invisible glass partitions and non-functional doors. This isn't much fun either. Then the cops turn up and shoot you. This is less fun.

Oh, and playing the game up-close on a monitor, I got motion-sickness from a videogame for the first time since the days of Nintendo 64 blur-o-vision. Unsurprisingly, this wasn't much fun.

Annoyingly, Mirror's Edge has very high production values, innovative ideas and flashes of brilliance. It just doesn't play to its strengths. The adventuring and combat and plot all seem to detract from the basic thrill of dashing through the sky-line. Weirdly, it might have worked better as a racing game.

Conclusion: Thrills and frustration in equal measure.

Graphics: Very good. The crisp, white vistas are breath-taking. Some of the interiors are a little dark in contrast, though.

Length: Short.

Rating: 3/5.

Labels: computer game review, Xbox 360

 
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  Saints Row 2 (Xbox 360)

Rated: 18.

Story: You are the leader of the 3rd Street Saints, a gang which has wiped out the competition to control the city of Stilwater.

Well, you were...

You wake up from a lengthy coma to discover that there are new gangs in town, your old neighbourhood has been redeveloped and the Saints have disbanded. You're back to stealing loose change and dreaming of the big time.

Luckily, it doesn't take long to get hold of a bazooka and start causing some mayhem...

Gameplay: Think Grand Theft Auto with more explosions and even less realism.

Drive around town, taking on missions to gain the turf of rival gangs. These mostly involve some combination of driving, shooting and blowing stuff up. Occasionally you have to fly somewhere or guard something.

To unlock missions you have to earn respect by doing whatever activities you can find. There are dozens of options, from entering a demolition derby to throwing yourself in front of traffic to commit insurance fraud. Even driving dangerously earns respect, adding spice to every journey.

Save System: Autosave after each mission.

Comments: The original Saints Row was disparaged for being nothing more than a blatant copy of Grand Theft Auto III with better graphics, improved combat and mid-mission checkpoints. Quite why people would want to complain about a version of GTA with most of the major irritations removed is a mystery, however. I thought it was rather fun (in a Daily Mail-baiting kind of way).

Saints Row 2 is pretty similar, except it's Grand Theft Auto IV with worse graphics, improved combat and mid-mission checkpoints. If it's a while since you played the first game, you're going to struggle to spot the differences. The most noticeable are helicopters, planes and some extra types of side mission, such as protecting celebs from harassment and pretending to be a cop for reality TV. The 'Stronghold' missions to capture enemy territory have also been made more interesting. The story is remarkably familiar, only this time the main character has plenty of dialogue but the plot is slightly weaker.

The main gripe is that the whole thing is a little rough around the edges with slightly substandard graphics and a number of bugs. The final few missions are a little underwhelming as well. Less of a problem (but still annoying) are numerous references to the first game without giving a proper recap.

Saints Row 2 is nowhere near as clever or impressive as GTA IV. It is more fun, though. The simple street layouts keep it accessible and there's always something fun to do. Dull journeys are avoided and messing up normally results in a little setback rather than teeth-grinding punishment.

Obviously, this isn't a game for children - it's full of swearing, drugs, violence and sexual references - but it's not going to bring an end to civilisation. The over-the-top nature of it all firmly separates it from reality. Impressively, however, the script somehow manages to portray the homicidal psychopaths in your gang as likable people you'd want to go for a beer with. Then, every so often, they do something that's just plain nasty, bringing you up short and putting all their other actions back into scary perspective. Ultimately, this gives a better insight into the nature of evil than any number of World War II games where you get to heroically slaughter Nazis.

Or maybe I'm reading too much into it and it is all about driving dangerously and shooting things...

Conclusion: Saints Row 1.5.

Graphics: The options menu lets you choose between slow-down or screen-tear, so it's safe to say there are plenty of minor issues. Nothing interferes with the fun, though, and good art design frequently makes Saints Row 2 more interesting to look at than many more technically competent games. Only some barren interior locations let things down.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review, computer game review (vol.4), Xbox 360

 
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  Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Xbox 360)

Rated: 12

Story: The Force Unleashed is set between the prequels and the proper Star Wars movies and you play Darth Vader's secret apprentice, hunting down the few remaining Jedi in the galaxy to 'retire' them.

The plot takes in the origins of the Rebel Alliance and features the occasional familiar character. Ultimately, the George-Lucas-approved revelations aren't that startling but it certainly all beats Attack of the Clones.

Gameplay: Run through linear levels, fighting anything that gets in your way, in an effort to reach the boss and whack him/her/it with a big, glowing stick.

Besides carrying a light-sabre, you also gain various Force abilities as the game goes on. You can pick up objects and enemies with the power of your mind and fling them around, shoot lightning from your fingertips and blast enemies away from you, among other things.

There are hidden bonuses to discover and there's some leaping around platforms but it's hardly Tomb Raider.

Save System: Loading a saved game returns you to the last checkpoint reached. This isn't usually a problem since the checkpoints are mostly close together.

Comments: No matter how many sub-standard films, games and plastic figurines the Lucas empire churns out, there is a part of many males my age that will forever go misty-eyed at the mention of Death Stars and Princess Leia...

Thus it was with a certain amount of nostalgic hope (but not much expectation), that I put The Force Unleashed into the disc tray and booted it up. It speaks volumes about the quality of recent Star Wars output that I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a game of almost complete mediocrity.

Charging around with a light-sabre while throwing enemies about with psychic powers is always entertaining but the experience is constantly bogged down by linear levels, uninspiring design, dumb AI, repetitive combat and slightly awkward controls. Taking on an AT-ST or rancor beast is exhilarating the first time; by the fifth time it's somewhat tiresome. After a while, the game becomes something of a trudge as you return to locations that have already been visited in order to beat up yet more goons.

Thankfully there are only ten levels, so seeing the story play out doesn't take long. Plenty of areas can even be sprinted through without fighting, helping to get things over with.

That said, The Force Unleashed isn't awful. There are plenty of nice touches, including interactive scenery, great facial animation and an exhaustive database, but, in general, the game is rather sloppy. Fortunately, the warm glow of Star Wars saves it. If you're still struggling to focus thanks to my previous reference to giant space weapons and gold-bikini'd royalty, you'll probably be prepared to overlook some of the short-comings and simply enjoy indulging your inner Jedi.

Just bear in mind that there are plenty of better games to play first...

Conclusion: Don't expect genius but it's worth a rental if flinging Imperial storm troopers around with the Force sounds like fun.

Graphics: Pretty enough, although the locations are seldom striking and a couple of the levels are simply dull. The game judders a bit sometimes. (Try going misty-eyed again and you won't notice so much. Think of Ewoks or something.)

Length: Short, verging on the Very Short.

Rating: 3/5 if you're a fan of Star Wars, else 2/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.4), Xbox 360

 
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  A summer of games

There are at least nine potentially great games coming out on Xbox 360 in the next three weeks. That's more than in the entire year so far put together. No one has time and money for them all. Games publishers are crazy.

Before this deluge hits, here are some thoughts on the games I've played over the last few months but haven't had the chance to review. If I don't share them now, it's just not going to happen.

In fairness, some of the games I didn't play that much but, you know, that was because they weren't very good. If a game hasn't got interesting after a couple of hours then something is seriously wrong...

Warhammer: Battle March (15) - Xbox 360 - Hurrah a real-time strategy game set in the Warhammer universe created by Games Workshop! There's no faffing with gathering resources or building bases, it's merely a simple case of arranging your army and leading it tactically into battle...

Er, so was that hold down the right-trigger, press left on the d-pad and then tap A or was it click the left-stick, tap the right-bumper and then hold X? No, no, that's not right... Maybe it was the right-trigger, left on the d-pad and then Y... Oh, never mind, I'll just select everything I can see and charge those goblins... If I can untangle my fingers, that is...

Seriously, the controls have been made too complicated in order to fit in a host of complex commands, meaning even simple commands are impossible to pull off in the heat of conflict. Worse, there's no way to save during battles, so a single screw-up results in going all the way back to the start of the level.

Broken. Even the script is dreadful. 3/5 if you're a desperate Warhammer fan, else 1/5.

Pure (3+) - Xbox 360 - Drive a quad bike around at crazy speeds, doing crazy jumps and pulling crazy tricks in order to go at even crazier speeds. Looks great but upgrading your bike is fiddly and having to pull tricks all the time to earn boost can get wearying. Personally I prefer Burnout Revenge but this is definitely worth a rental. 4/5.

Condemned 2 (18) - Xbox 360 - The original Condemned was a decent launch title for the 360 with a scary journey through crumbling buildings on the trail of a serial killer. The hand-to-hand combat was excellent but the story was rather vague and the gameplay and environments were rather repetitive.

Oddly, the demo makes the sequel look like more of the same and I was somewhat nervous about even bothering to rent it. I'm glad I did. The developers have worked hard to improve almost every aspect of the original. The combat is even better and there's much more to see and do. Puzzles break up the action well. The forensic investigation is still hardly CSI but it does require some thought this time round.

The atmosphere is fantastic. 4/5.

Conan (18) - Xbox 360 - Hack, hack, hack, jump, hack, stupendous limb-severing hack, hack, jump, hack, cataclysmic whirling hack of death, hack, repeat.

If you've played the demo you've pretty much seen it all apart from the occasional topless slave girl.

Travel back in time and give the game to your teenage self. 2/5.

Metroid Prime 3 (12+) - Wii - Step into the shoes of a futuristic bounty hunter, shoot things and hunt out new equipment.

Exactly like Metroid Prime but with different controls. Being able to aim with the wiimote is great but having to frequently use awkward-to-reach buttons is a pain. The motion-sensing is pretty irritating too. Combine this with the reappearing opponents, lack of checkpointing, constant traipsing about, first-person platforming and the need to search out savepoints, and it all feels rather like hard work.

Some people love the exploration and atmosphere, though. 3/5.

House of the Dead 2 and 3 (15) - Wii - Shoot zombies using the wiimote as you're moved around automatically. Sadly, using the wiimote isn't as much fun as using a proper lightgun and running out of lives sends you all the way back to the beginning of the entire game to suffer the ugly graphics and awful voice-acting all over again. 2/5.

Assassin's Creed (16+) - Xbox 360 - Leap across rooftops as a Medieval assassin, do it again, possibly ride a horse for miles, suffer a hugely tedious cutscene and then leap across some more rooftops. Scarily, this is actually less interesting than it sounds and that's not even taking into account the modern-day subplot set in an office.

Assassin's Creed's huge world looks great but it's empty of gameplay. A sandbox game without any sand. 2/5.

Grand Theft Auto IV (18) - Xbox 360 - Travel round a vast city, undertake violent missions and build your own criminal empire. Again.

You can go bowling, play darts and surf an entire fake internet but the city's a maze, getting places is often dull, the difficulty is all over the shop and there's still no checkpointing or proper mission restart option. Oh, and the distance-blurring effect made me squint the whole time and gave me a headache when I played on an HD display, but some of the text was barely readable on a normal telly. Despite enjoying previous GTA games I really didn't have much fun.

There's plenty of sand in this sandbox... but it's all a little dry. Disappointing. Play Saints Row instead. 3/5.

Zack and Wiki - Quest for Barbaros' Treasure (7+) - Wii - A point-and-click adventure. Wander around collecting objects and use them to solve puzzles. Use a saw to cut down a pole and then hold the pole in a fire to make a torch to see in dark tunnels, that sort of thing.

This would be great if it didn't have a tendency to frequently and unexpectedly kill you and send you right back to the start of the level. The game uses the wiimote well but it quickly becomes too frustrating to be fun.

May make you want to cut it up with a saw and then set fire to it. 3/5.

So there we have it. Summary: Rent Pure or Condemned 2 to tide you over the last few days until Fallout 3 comes out...

Labels: computer game review (vol.4), wii, Xbox 360

 
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  Civilization Revolution (Xbox 360)

Rated: 12+. Quite why this should be the case is a mystery once again - there really isn't anything you'd be worried about a passing toddler watching. Still, actually playing the game is going to be beyond most eleven-year-olds anyway.

Story: You are the leader of a small tribe of nomads. You must found a city, spread your culture, advance your civilisation and take your people from the stone age to interstellar colonisation, all while competing with opposing tribes.

Gameplay: This is a turn-based strategy game...

Hey! Come back! It's not what you think! It's fast-paced, works great without a mouse and keyboard, doesn't take months to get through and favours tactical thought over micro-management. It...

Oh, darn... Now all the geeky guys with beards have left.

That just leaves you and me.

Ho well, guess I'd better finish the review anyway. No sneaking off, though. You had your chance.

So... Civilization Revolution is a turn-based strategy game where you must explore a planet and utilise resources to become the dominant civilisation. You start off with a single city and direct its citizens to concentrate on trade, science, harvesting or industry. In time, the city produces military units and/or settlers to found other cities. Put some effort into science and your civilisation develops new technologies, allowing useful buildings to be built and (eventually) very big tanks. Each turn, your units can move a space or two.

Of course, the planet is full of other civilizations vying for the same territory. You can win by conquering them all but victory can also be achieved by scientific, economic or cultural means (essentially by concentrating on research, trade or building large cathedrals).

Save System: Save at any time.

Comments: I played Civilization 2 a decade ago and enjoyed it. Each game seemed to take weeks, however. By the time I'd spent 5000 years leading the Vikings to world domination and I'd finally seen off the expansionist greed of the Aztecs, I couldn't face starting again on a higher difficulty level. There was too much detail involved in organising cities, and the units moved too slowly compared with the distances they had to travel. I decided to go play Tomb Raider and get some instant entertainment.

I didn't dare touch the later Civ sequels in case I ended up spending months of my life arranging train timetables or managing the budget of public service broadcasts.

Civilization Revolution is for people like me - people who enjoy a good strategy board game but start to get nervous when the rulebook is more than four pages long. Sure, there are plenty of details to be picked up about the merits of the different technologies and units but the basic gameplay can be grasped in minutes. Everything has been redesigned to make the experience speed along. The worlds are small, the controls are well-designed and there aren't stacks of menus.

The end result is a game that takes around five hours to play. This is long enough to require plenty of strategy but not long enough for starting again to feel like a chore. Variety is maintained through varying difficulty levels and the large number of different tribes available - each has their own special abilities which genuinely affect how the game needs to be played. Trying to achieve the different winning conditions adds to the longevity, and there are also special scenarios which change things even further (by, for instance, unlocking all technologies from the start).

The short turns make the game very addictive. It feels like something is always going on and there's always time for 'just one more turn...' I keep sitting down at ten with a drink and my controller and looking up a few minutes later to discover it's midnight and my beer's untouched.

I can't remember the last game which did that.

Civilization Revolution will be too slow and complicated for many and too fast and simplistic for others. I, however, think it strikes just the right balance, requiring a satisfying amount of brainpower but not too much effort. Superb.

Conclusion: If you want a fast-paced, turn-based strategy game which involves plenty of planning and thought but little micro-management, then this is for you. (Yes, you! You over there! In between the irate, bearded guys muttering about 'dumbing-down' and the teenagers sloping off to play Halo...)

Graphics: Clear, bright and attractive. Text is large enough to read on an old-fashioned telly. You'll be staring at it intently for hours, though, so I'd recommend some form of high definition display.

Length: A single-player game is a few hours long but you can play many times over.

Rating: 5/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  Tomb Raider: Anniversary (Xbox 360)

Rated: 12.

Story: Lara Croft shoots to fame in Tomb Raider, a haunting, atmospheric adventure that finally allows people to live out their Indiana Jones fantasies (and, let's face it, gives teenage boys certain other fantasies). Big budget sequels follow but they never quite recapture the magic - too much shooting, daft difficulty levels, often forgettable locations and little evolution in terms of controls or gameplay. The wheels start to come off. Hollywood churns out a couple of exhilarating but nonsensical movies. Then Angel of Darkness is released.

It's awful. Ms Croft's career hits the rocks (with a trademark scream and splat).

Years pass. After a stint in rehab, Lara returns under new management, looking better than ever. Legend still has too much shooting and some generic locations but at least the controls aren't too bad. Maybe the Tomb Raider franchise isn't dead after all.

Someone has the bright idea of remaking the original.

Gameplay: Watch Lara's backside as you make her leap, climb, swing, run and swim around ancient tombs in search of artifacts. There's some shooting when creatures leap out at you and a handful of boss battles but the main emphasis is on finding routes round the vast environments, often climbing to dizzying heights.

There are health packs and ammo clips littered about but many are in hard to reach places. Each level also has a few treasures to recover. Collecting them is optional but unlocks bonus material. Most are well hidden and hard to get to. The rest are incredibly well hidden and surrounded by instant death.

Save System: Regular checkpoints. The last checkpoint reached can be saved manually at any time. Annoyingly, it's sometimes possible to fall off a high ledge, make a miraculous landing and find yourself back at a previous checkpoint.

Comments: Finally, seven sequels later, they've managed to come up with a Tomb Raider that's as good as the first one. Oh, hang on, it is the first one...

Fortunately, it's more than just the original with tarted up graphics. Many environments have been opened out to be bigger, better and more imposing, while remaining eerily familiar. Others have been re-imagined to take advantage of all the extra skills Lara has learnt over the last decade, from climbing to swinging from a grappling hook. Everything feels less confined than in the last game, Legend.

Meanwhile, some of the more frustrating aspects of the original have been removed. The tedious block moving puzzles are gone, along with the worst of the time-limited tasks and the stupidly difficult sections near the end.

Even better, the control system allows for both precision and fluid motion which always seemed like an impossibility in the Tomb Raider of old. Jumping straight after a wall run often goes badly - 'No, Lara! The other way. The other way!' - but, apart from that, a long downward plummet is usually the result of player error rather than poor design.

Now they've got the mechanics and graphics nailed down, let's hope the developers can learn from this remake and create a new adventure with the same atmosphere and sense of scale.

Conclusion: It's the best Tomb Raider since, well, the first one... Worth playing even if you finished the original.

Graphics: Lovely apart from the squint-inducing haze effect in the limited number of locations featuring bright sunlight. The game also slows down in large open areas.

Length: Medium (but unlocking everything could take a very long time indeed).

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  Alone in the Dark (Xbox 360)

Rated: 15.

Story: You wake up with amnesia and in close proximity to an elderly gentleman who believes that only you can save the world. Then you have to fight your way out of a zombie-infested, burning building via a poorly lit underground parking lot. Somebody's after the philosopher's stone, Lucifer is preparing to make an appearance and pesky spider things keep jumping at your head.

Fortunately, this pretty much uses up every gaming cliché in existence and things finally begin to pick up. You find yourself roaming Central Park in the dark.

You aren't alone...

Gameplay: This is an adventure game with plenty of combat. You can swap between a third-person view and a first-person view at the touch of a button. First-person is good for shooting; third-person is compulsory for hand-to-hand fighting and for solving some puzzles.

There's a huge mixture of gameplay styles. Sometimes you're creeping round dingy buildings searching for clues like in Resident Evil, other times you have to drive around at high speed, then there are shooter sections and occasionally there's lots of jumping and climbing as it all goes Tomb Raider. Although this means plenty of variety, it also seems to mean the developers didn't have enough time to make any of the different styles work properly.

Save System: Regular checkpoints that can be saved manually at any time. Quite where you'll end up and what you'll be carrying when you load a saved game isn't quite as predictable as you might like, however.

Comments: Few games in recent memory have made me want to throw my controller through a window quite as often as Alone in the Dark. The control scheme generally varies between awkward and broken. Even selecting an item from the inventory screen is a pain. Since much of the game is spent selecting items from the inventory screen while being rushed by hungry zombies, this is something of an issue... I came close to giving up on numerous occasions because I simply couldn't get the main character to do what was required of him without blowing himself up, falling from a great height or getting his brain munched. Grr.

Nonetheless, I persevered. For every stretch of pain, Alone in the Dark throws up a superb edge-of-the-seat sequence, an atmospheric location or a great puzzle. Exploring the spooky, totally open environment of Central Park is a revelation for survival horror games. Having to actually think to find a way forward makes a change. Throwing a bottle of petrol and then shooting it in mid air never gets old.

There are definitely many great gaming moments to be had.

If only the bits in between weren't so daft and annoying...

Conclusion: A game to love and hate in equal measure. Then hate a bit more. Then love. Then to have very mixed feelings about as, just at the point you think you're almost finished, you discover it's twice as long as you were expecting. And then...

Oh, just rent it and see what you think...

Graphics: Fantastic. Great fire effects and lighting. Plenty of nice animation touches and some excellently designed locations. Only the monsters are a little generic.

Length: Well, that depends... You could bury your controller in the front of your TV before the first hour is up. That would make it a very short game. Then again, if you're persistent but ham-fisted it might stretch out to medium length.

Rating: 4/5.

(The Wii and PS2 versions are supposedly very different. Be warned.)

Labels: computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  Monster Jam (Xbox 360)

Rated: U.

Gameplay: Drive a monster truck over and through obstacles in a series of events. These include:

• Normal races around such places as a shipyard and an airplane graveyard.
• Eliminator races where the last placed racer is knocked out after every lap.
• Stadium races round obstacle courses.
• Stadium freestyle stunt performances. (Crush, smash and jump for points.)

There's a small element of strategy from the use of boost. Boost lets you go faster but heats your engine. Smashing scenery items and pulling stunts allows the use of boost for longer without danger of overheating your truck's engine and disabling boost.

Save System: Automatic save after every event.

Comments: The three main selling points on the back of the box do not inspire confidence: CATCH MASSIVE AIR! DESTROY EVERYTHING! and, er... RACE OUTDOORS!

Race outdoors? I can't think of a racing game I've ever played where I didn't get to race outdoors. It's like a first-person shooter promising to let you 'RUN AROUND WITH A BIG GUN!' or a platformer advertising the ability to 'JUMP ABOUT COLLECTING THINGS!'. I mean, what's next? 'TURN LEFT AND RIGHT!'?

I suppose real monster trucks are confined to stadia and so being able to RACE OUTDOORS! might be novel to actual fans but still... it does suggest that someone somewhere wasn't trying too hard. This is backed up by the opening video of monster truck action which appears to have been shot on a mobile phone. It made me wonder what horror would result when I actually began the game proper. I braced myself and pressed START.

And then something surprising happened.

Monster Jam turned out to be quite good fun.

It's not a serious racing game like Project Gotham or Forza. Sprog1 wanted me to explain how to play the game and I said, "Hang on a minute, I'm concentrating on not crashing into things." Then I realised that that wasn't entirely true. I was mainly concentrating on crashing into as many things as possible.

There's no engine tuning or sticking to the racing line or even much use of the brake most of the time. Monster Jam is about destroying things by driving into them very fast in a stupidly large 4x4. It's a racing game for people who like to hold down accelerate, have a tendency to smack into the opposition at any given opportunity, need a very, very wide track and enjoy leaving a trail of devastation in their wake.

Yep, that'll be me and most children.

Monster Jam is uncomplicated and grin-inducing. The need to constantly crash into stuff takes a little getting used to, though. So does the physics - the trucks and obstacles bounce all over the place like gravity doesn't apply. It's also hard to tell at first what can be driven through and what can't. An eighteen-wheeler or a space shuttle are apparently no match for a truck with a name like Grave Digger but a small pile of ordinary cars won't budge. Luckily (and somewhat unbelievably), the trucks turn virtually on the spot like radio-controlled vehicles, allowing quick reverses out of trouble.

Once you're adjusted to the lack of realism, however, the game becomes a decent romp, even if the low budget feel remains. There aren't many tracks, the AI is ropey and the commentary is dire. That said, there is a 4-player split-screen mode which is pretty unusual these days.

All things considered, Monster Jam isn't big or clever but Sprog1 (age 8) has been playing it and reckons it's almost as fun as the new Mario Kart. I have to disagree. I think it's actually a little more fun.

Conclusion: Launching several tonnes of thundering truck off a ramp and through a luxury yacht is more enjoyable than lobbing shells at Princess Peach.

Graphics: Adequate. They're not going to win any awards for detail but this is only an issue in the stadium events where you're moving more slowly. In races, there's too much going on to notice.

Length: Short.

Rating: 3/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  LEGO Indiana Jones
The Original Adventures (Xbox 360)

Rated: U

Story: You are Indiana Jones, famous archaeologist, explorer and teacher (part-time). You must travel the world in search of lost artifacts, defeating Nazis and getting told off by your dad along the way.

The game closely follows the events of the first three movies, re-creating everything from motorbikes to elephants in LEGO.

Gameplay: This is an adventure with a heavy emphasis on platform jumping and combat. Two players (or one player and the computer) must work together, guiding LEGO versions of characters from the movies through the levels, clobbering enemies and solving puzzles. Different characters have different special abilities - Indy has his whip to swing across gaps, ladies can jump higher, small characters can get through hatches, that kind of thing. There are also tools like spanners and shovels that any character can pick up.

Although there's plenty of fighting, this is little LEGO figures having a scrap that we're talking about. Hit someone with a shovel or blow them up with a bazooka and they simply fall apart into a forlorn pile of plastic pieces.

Every level has hidden objects to discover that can be used to unlock bonus levels and secret options. Uncovering all of these requires replaying the levels at least once with different characters. There's also treasure littered everywhere that can pay for extra bits and bobs.

Save System: The game only saves in between levels but, on a first attempt, some levels can take three-quarters of an hour to play through. This is hugely inconvenient. It means there's no option of a quick game before school or anything similar. My 360 has had to be left on over a number of meal-times, simply because the food was ready but my boys were stuck near the end of a level.



Comments: This game comes into its own when played with two players. Alone, it was fun but felt a little basic. My computer-controlled buddy tended to stand around while I got pulverised by the bad guys; puzzles required some tedious swapping backwards and forwards between the two on-screen characters. All this disappears with a second player and LEGO Indiana Jones turns into an entertaining lesson in co-operation.

I started my two boys (aged 6 and 8) playing it and they almost instantly began shouting conflicting instructions at each other. I told them off. Then, later, when I teamed up with one of them, I couldn't help doing it myself. 'No, the other way!... Shoot them!... Not me! Them!... Hey! Where are you going? Look out for the... Oops...' It really was a case of learning to work together.

The second player can drop in and out of the game at any time. This is a fantastic feature and allows a busy adult to just join in for the tricky bits or to slip away quietly if the phone rings.

Completing the game 100% involves some skill but the game is designed so that even novice gamers can muddle through. There's no way to die. If a character gets hit too many times, then they fall apart for a few seconds and drop some of their treasure. Often, most of the treasure can be picked up again. The main hold up is figuring out the puzzles. It's possible to not notice missile targets and smashable objects while being swamped by waves of enemy soldiers, leading to occasional frustration over what to do to open the next door or to defeat a boss. The solution is never far away, however, and the secret is almost always to hunt around carefully for something useful.

Children who can't read fluently will need extra supervision early on since hints and clues are given in fairly small text at the bottom of the screen.

The story is presented using scenes from the movie re-done with the LEGO characters from the game and without dialogue. These are excellent and somehow manage to pay homage to the films while poking fun at them. Unfortunately, there's little chance of anyone who hasn't seen the films being able to follow what's going on. This is an issue for children who are too young to watch the movies. (They're a bit scary in places!) It's not a major problem, though, since they'd probably only spend the whole film going, 'Who's that?', 'What's going on?' and 'Where are they now?' anyway.

There are a few minor niggles with the game: The perspective makes some jumps difficult to gauge, certain areas are a little too dark compared to the rest and most of the 60 playable characters are totally forgettable. That said, compared with most other movie tie-ins aimed at children, these are laughably inconsequential points. On the 360, LEGO Indiana Jones stands beside LEGO Star Wars, head and shoulders above the competition. On the Wii, there are more options for kids but the full co-operative play is still close to unique.

If your offspring play computer games or you're thinking of getting them started, this is an essential purchase.

Conclusion: A good game that becomes a great game when played with your children.

Graphics: From a technical point of view, the graphics are crisp and clear but their true strength lies in the way they capture both the spirit of LEGO and the Indiana Jones films.

Length: Medium.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  The Orange Box (Xbox 360)

Rated: 15.

Contents:

• Half-Life 2.
• Half-Life 2: Episode One.
• Half-Life 2: Episode Two.
• Portal.
• Team Fortress 2.

Story: In Half-Life 2, you are Gordon Freeman, a scientist turned hero, who must lead the resistance against an alien take-over of the Earth. You do this by shooting aliens, zombies, collaborators and giant robot things. There are various factions and there's plenty of backstory but nothing is ever explained, so essentially you end up shooting lots of things because your girlfriend tells you to.

In Portal, you play an unnamed test subject and must solve puzzles using an experimental gun capable of creating a wormhole between any two suitable flat surfaces. Fire it at a wall and then a ceiling, and you can step through a portal in the wall and fall out of one up high. Much fun ensues.

Gameplay: Half-Life 2 and its Episodes are pretty old-fashioned shooters. You wander about with a selection of weapons, viewing things from Gordon's perspective, walking over health packs and shooting almost anything which moves. There are vehicle sections and you frequently have companions but that's about it, apart from a few physics-based puzzles and some creepy sections involving darkness and zombies.

Portal isn't about shooting. It's about working out how to use the portals and momentum to reach seemingly inaccessible places. It's part puzzle-game, part adventure.

Team Fortress 2 is online multiplayer only. I suspect some shooting is involved...

Save System: Manual save at any time and auto-save at check points. Excellent.

Comments: I'm not a great fan of first-person shooters but I've still managed to play Halo 3, BioShock, Condemned, the 360 version of Far Cry and this compilation in the last year, along with various demos and doubtless something else I've forgotten. (Oh, yeah, The Darkness.) Every second game on the 360 seems to be a FPS. Each has something going for it: Halo has epic cinematics, BioShock has role-playing and adventure elements, Condemned has big sticks, Far Cry has open levels and sunshine and The Darkness has, er... evil minions with chainguns. Half-Life 2, though, is perhaps the most traditional of the recent releases. It's fundamentally Doom with better graphics and AI.

The way you're able to pick up objects and throw them using a gravity gun is entertaining but it's nowhere near as exciting as it was when the game originally came out on the PC. We've had plenty of games with telekinesis and realistic physics since then. More than that, the story and graphics aren't anything to write home about anymore, either.

The story-telling, in particular, is a mess. The world has gone to Hell in the years between the original Half-Life and this sequel but the intervening events are only ever obliquely alluded to. Characters aren't properly introduced and it's never entirely made clear exactly who you're fighting. Revelations almost always raise twice as many questions as they answer. Maybe Episode Three will explain everything but, having been kept in the dark for so long, I've ceased to care.

Half-Life 2 does have many great moments, however, from creeping round a zombie-filled town in the dark, to speeding along a river while being chased by a helicopter. The problem is that it just goes on too long. Many sections feel over-extended and the extra Episodes add to the problem - they're more of the same but not quite as good. Without a compelling story or jaw-dropping graphics, it's a struggle to keep going at times.

I prefer BioShock. And Far Cry. (And maybe Halo 3 as well.)

The real fun and innovation in the collection is reserved for Portal. It's a game that involves both thought and skill, is funny and tells an affecting story. It's a game that will make you grin for any number of reasons. It's a game that you should play. The only downside is that it's over in three hours. (Sure, there's a stack of challenges and bonus bits on top of that, but they're nowhere near as much fun as the main story.)

Conclusion: Half-Life 2 is a very competent shooter with some exceptional sections and plenty of variety. Unfortunately, it's very linear and has rather a lot of padding. Unless you really like running around shooting things, this will start wearing thin before the thirty hours are up.

However, even if you don't like shooters much, The Orange Box is an unmissable rental, simply because of Portal.

Graphics: Good but not amazing. In my head, Half-Life 2 looks just the same as it did when I played it on the original Xbox. Obviously, if I was able to see the two versions running side by side, the 360 effort would look smoother and have higher detail but I've just grown to expect that. Many of the locations are quite bland, so the greater resolution doesn't reveal much. There's no slow-down this time round, though.

The Episodes up the visual stakes somewhat but this is counteracted by the familiarity of the locations and enemies.

The graphics in Portal are purposefully functional and add to the atmosphere.

Length: Half-Life 2 is medium to long. The two Episodes are both short. Portal is very short.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.2), computer game review (vol.3), Xbox 360

 
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  Two Worlds (Xbox 360)

Rated: 12.

Story: Forsooth! Thou art a mercenary in a fantasy land where orcs and humans are at war. Malevolent, yet mysterious, forces have kidnapped your beloved sister who verily doest wear too much make-up and not enough clothing. Prithee, knave, go track down the rogues and rescue her before it is too late, lest the god Aziraal be freed from his tomb and the world turned to darkness! Ye gads!

Gameplay: Yep, it's a role-playing game. Wander towns and countryside, talking to people and getting sent on quests, in an effort to increase your character's level, improve skills and get your hands on really big swords. You can go pretty much wherever you like from the start, choosing to stick to the main story or to merely explore.

There are various political factions in the game and completing quests for each of them raises your reputation with that faction, opening up new quests and possibly putting you at odds with one of the other factions.

Fighting is a mix of archery, spell-casting and hand-to-hand, and takes place from a third-person viewpoint.

Save System: Manual save at any time. There's no auto-save but this usually isn't a problem since, when you die, you immediately come back to life at the nearest shrine without any other penalty. Shrines are seldom far away. You'll want to save often, though, in case the game crashes. (It does that quite a lot.)

Comments: As with Mass Effect, it would be easy to fill a review of Two Worlds with a list of all the elements of it that are broken. Once again, I will try to resist, however. Two Worlds should be applauded for it's ambition and the freedom of choice which it gives players. The game provides an open world waiting to be explored and leaves you to get on with it. There's very little telling you where to go. Pick a direction and see who you meet and where you end up. Even the main story missions leave you to your own devices most of the time. For once, you really do feel like an adventurer heading off into the unknown, trying to make a name for yourself in an unfamiliar land.

Er, apart from when you're feeling totally lost or simply annoyed because you're looking for something in particular and you've no idea where to find it. The trade-off for all the freedom is that it's very easy to walk right past vital people and information. For instance, most of the faction members in the game won't give you missions until they trust you, but the only way to gain their trust is to complete missions for their faction. The few members who will trust you early on are often standing behind a rock in the middle of nowhere. If you're really unlucky, when you do stumble across them, they tell you to go infiltrate another faction, whose trust you'll also need. This can be irritating.

There are other issues. I should probably just write that list:

• Eye-wincingly awful graphics. It's not so much how they look; it's the constant, headache-inducing juddering.
• Questionable design choices. You can't use lots of skills until you find someone hiding behind a rock who's willing to train you. This limits your combat options for ages for no good reason. On top of that, lots of the skills are useless. (On the plus side, for a relatively small amount of gold, you can regress your character and spend all your experience from scratch, allowing you to change tactics halfway through the game once you know what works and what doesn't.)
• Fiddly interface. The game was designed with a keyboard and mouse in mind. Navigating the inventory can be a chore, the map screen's a mess and selecting spells is far too much hassle.
• Dreadful dialogue and voice acting. Forsooth! Mine ears are bleeding! Me thinks I shouldst turn on the subtitles.
• The reputation/trust system is broken. Deliver three packages for one faction and they consider you a living legend. Obliterate the rivals of a different faction and they still barely acknowledge your existence. Eh?
• Buggy. Crashes, glitches and odd events.
• Uneven difficulty. In some sense, the game is pretty easy - death is only a minor inconvenience. Unfortunately, it's a very frequent inconvenience. Early on, even the lowly wolves wandering the landscape will eat you for breakfast by attacking in packs. Run away to pick them off from a distance and you'll just bump into another pack and maybe some bandits and possibly a bear. Before you know it, you've got a Benny Hill chase scene on your hands. Later in the game, when you're big and tough and have excellent weapons and armour, many enemies can still kill you with a single hit. What's the point? Quests descend to running in, grabbing the required item and running out again pursued by a line of angry monsters. (Added amusement can be obtained by humming the Benny Hill theme tune, however.)
• Annoying mounts. Horses are infuriating to control and won't go through teleports, so they're often more trouble than they're worth.
• Unremarkable Collector's Edition. The bonus disc is lousy and isn't designed for the 360 e.g. it contains PC desktop wallpapers rather than Xbox dashboard themes. The pen-and-paper role-playing game is merely a D&D clone and the rulebook contains almost no background information on the world. It's unplayable in itself and doesn't give any insight into the computer game.
• The list goes on...

Overall, the list of Two Worlds' faults is longer and more instantly damning than the one for Mass Effect. I came much closer to giving up in disgust with Two Worlds. It really shouldn't have been released in this state. The truth is, though, I actually enjoyed Two Worlds more than Mass Effect. It's better paced and has far more to it.

I suspect that both development teams ran out of time. The Mass Effect guys plugged up the gaps and polished and tested what they had. The Two Worlds devs continued putting in all the interesting stuff they'd planned, sent it to the DVD factory at the last minute and crossed their fingers. Two Worlds is always intriguing and always has something new for you to find but it just feels like a beta version. It's buggy and barely works at all. That said, if you can put up with the horrendously jagged edges, there's a decent game underneath.

Conclusion: If you absolutely loved Oblivion, you might tolerate this long enough to appreciate its charms... a bit.

Graphics: Quite nice on occasion if you squint and don't try and move your character at all. Actually start to walk around, however, and it's a disaster. Stuff materialises out of thin air on a regular basis and the whole thing judders along like it's just going to give up and die at any moment. The frame-rate dips into low single figures every time you attempt to turn the camera around.

Length: That depends. It's possible to whizz through the main quest and reach the end of the game relatively quickly but, then again, it's also possible to spend countless hours exploring. So, anywhere between medium and very long, really. Somewhere in the middle is probably best - explore a fair amount to get the most out of the game and then hurry along to the end before the graphics make you go blind.

Rating: Very nearly 3/5.

Labels: computer game review (vol.2), Xbox 360, Xbox 360 (vol.1)

 
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