Stuff for Dads

  The Invasion (DVD)

Starring: Nicole Kidman (& Daniel Craig but, you know, who cares? It's got Nicole Kidman in it and it's not Practical Magic. Hurrah!)

Rated: 15.

Story: A mysterious alien virus starts turning the whole world into Stepford. A psychologist (Kidman) uncovers the sinister goings on and must escape assimilation, protect her son and save the day while wearing tight sweaters. (Her doctor friend (Craig) helps but, again, who cares?)

Yep, Invasion of the Body Snatchers rides again.

Comments: This is really a zombie flick, except, rather than rip faces off, the zombies spit in everyone else's coffee. They look human, they're emotionless and they're usually placid. It's Attack of the Prozac People.

Although never very scary, this is more nail-biting than it sounds. Fortunately, the film doesn't fall into the trap of a lengthy build up. Everything moves pleasingly quickly from 'Hey? Have you noticed anything odd recently?' to 'Let's drive really fast and squish some zombies'.

Certain of the situations are a little silly but the basic idea is quite thought provoking. In passing, the film questions what it means to be human and asks what price we're willing to pay for free will. It'll have added resonance if you've ever been on anti-depressants. Yeah, they make the world a 'better' place but it's at a cost.

Conclusion: 28 Weeks Later is more tense and The Faculty is more fun but this is a fast-paced effort which contains something to think about and Nicole Kidman.

Explosions: A few.
Unlikely escapes: Several.
Nicole: Lots.
Zombies: Cuddly... until they're sick in your coffee.
Drink?: Er, not right now thanks...
Practical Magic?: A film so bad that even the presence of Kidman and Sandra Bullock couldn't save it. That's pretty bad.

Rating: 4/5.

Labels: film review, horror, quick, sci-fi, thriller

  10:02 AM - Permanent Link - 0 comments - Post comment - Links to this post

  Sunshine (DVD)

Starring: Rose Byrne, Cillian Murphy, The Human Torch and an assortment of other faces you'll struggle to place.

Rated: 15

Story: The sun is dying. A group of astronauts are sent to drop a special bomb into it to give it a jumpstart. They bicker, they chat, they do astronaut kind of things and then they stumble across the remains of the first ship sent to do the job. Rather than getting on with the task in hand, they decide to investigate.

Take a wild guess as to how well that goes...

Comments: A few years ago, a couple of films about astronauts traveling to Mars came out at about the same. I think they were called Red Planet and Mission to Mars but I'm not entirely sure and they were so forgettable that I can't even be bothered to check. They've pretty much blended together in my head. Looks like I'm not the only one that's happened to, though, because mix those two movies with a touch of The Core and a dash of 2001, and you'd have the first half of Sunshine. Throw in a little Sphere and a portion of generic slasher movie and you'd have the second half.

Yep, it starts off familiar and almost interesting and ends up familiar and rather silly.

What with the journey taking months and all the talk of heat-shields and such, the set up is obviously supposed to be more NASA than Star Trek. I somewhat suspect, however, that if NASA had a computer which controlled everything on one of their ships, they wouldn't stop it overheating by sticking it in an OPEN pool of liquid coolant. I hope that someone would think, "Hang on a minute... What happens if the artificial gravity stops working, or there's a depressurisation in the computer room? Maybe we need to look at this again. And while we're at it, let's send enough oxygen with the ship to last for the entire journey rather than faffing with putting a garden in there. Sure, the oxygen will be heavy but, since the bomb is THE SIZE OF MANHATTAN, who's going to notice a few extra gas tanks? And maybe we should teach all the crew members how to set off the bomb. You know, in case something happens to that physicist guy. We could even make it so there's a handy control panel or something rather than requiring a selection of bits and bobs connected together with crocodile clips. And..." The list goes on. (And that's not even examining the plausibility of the central plot device).

Apparently, scientists were brought in to consult on the movie but, as with Deja Vu, they were asked the wrong questions. The details of the bomb are of no interest whatsoever - all the audience needs to know is that it's a bomb that has to go into the sun. That way, it's essentially magic, and we can get on with watching Rose Byrne and some explosions. It's the details of everything else that should have been checked out.

I have to imagine that the primary audience of Sunshine is people with a scientific background. Even the kind of teenage boy who's going to watch this movie is liable to have some clue about space travel. Thus, having a spaceship full of ludicrous design choices is something of an oversight. It's what everyone's going to talk about; it's what will put them off buying the DVD. (Well, actually, the rubbish plot that relies on people identifying danger but failing to call for back up before going to investigate might do that, too, but that's beside the point). It's these 'little things' that should have been run past some science graduates. I don't care how the faster-than-light travel happens in Star Wars or how the Death Star works - I'm happy to accept it. It's the use of 'parsec' as a measure of time rather than distance that grates every time.

Thinking about it, though, Sunshine has to be applauded for at least trying. There are hardly any recent science fiction movies set close to the present day and involving relatively realistic space travel. There's those two Mars films and another couple of movies separated at birth - Armageddon and Deep Impact. Unfortunately, despite the lack of competition, Sunshine still manages to come across as derivative.

I wonder if we'll ever get a space-based film set in the near future that doesn't involve aliens, a rescue mission or the end of the world.

Conclusion: You'd be better spending your money on some energy-saving daylight bulbs - they're great. Sunshine isn't.

Explosions: One or two.
Scientists involved: Not enough.
Similarities to other movies: Quite a few.
Number of crew members whose names you'll remember before they die: Not so many.

Rating: 2/5.

Labels: film review, horror, sci-fi

  9:30 AM - Permanent Link - 0 comments - Post comment - Links to this post

  28 Weeks Later (DVD)

Starring: Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, a couple of kids, a bigger budget and a horde of rabid zombies.

Rated: 18

Story: Mainland Britain is under quarantine thanks to the Rage virus. Once infected, victims go crazy within thirty seconds and start attacking anyone they can lay their teeth on. Thankfully (kind of), the virus has wiped itself out by killing pretty much the entire population. Rebuilding has begun, the American military has taken over, everything's going to be fine...

Comments: 28 Days Later was a slightly unusual zombie film. The apocalypse had pretty much been and gone before the story started, leaving deserted streets and the occasional fast, vicious zombie running about to leap out unexpectedly. There were no crowds of shuffling undead in sight. This made the film more haunting and scarier than certain other zombie films. It probably also made it a great deal cheaper.

The sequel has obviously had much more money thrown at it. This adds atmosphere on occasion, with characters wandering through vast empty stretches of London. Sometimes, though, it just means visual spectacle replaces inventiveness. 28 Weeks Later resembles Resident Evil - big explosions, hordes of zombies, a touch of moral dilemma and a nemesis that just will not go away. After the first few minutes, you pretty much know where it's going.

The first film unexpectedly changed tack about halfway through for some musings on human nature. Who's really evil? Scary, face-chewing zombies or scary, gun-wielding nutters who'd do anything to survive? The sequel poses the odd ethical question about the greater good but is really more interested in whether you've got enough popcorn.

Ach, it's predictable and a little silly but I liked it. Maybe that's just because it's set in Britain and so all the zombie mayhem feels closer to home. The strength of the first film was in making the viewer identify with ordinary people caught up in madness. It still pops into my head every so often, making me wonder what I would do if the whole world went down the tubes and friends could turn to monsters in a matter of seconds. Where would I go? How would I feel?

28 Weeks Later manages to retain something of that while adding more action. It's just not as original or memorable.

Conclusion: More entertaining to watch than the first one but with less to say.

Explosions: Like zombies. None for ages and then a whole load come along at once.
Gore: Some but I'm not sure how much - I was hiding behind my beer.
Tension: Lots.
Actual scares: Few.
Most important question to ask your double-glazing salesman: Is it zombie-proof?

Rating: 3/5.

Labels: action, film review, horror

  9:00 AM - Permanent Link - 0 comments - Post comment - Links to this post

  Severance (DVD)

Starring: Danny Dyer (who looks kind of familiar), Laura Harris (the new girl from The Faculty) and Tim McInnerny (the thick one from Blackadder).

Rated: 15

Story: A psycho gatecrashes a team-building weekend. Hilarity almost ensues.

Comments: This had potential but, as comedy slasher films go, it's neither that funny nor that scary. The characters are office comedy stereotypes - spineless manager, arrogant git, joking waster, unattainable female, frumpy female, officious sycophant and decent bloke - so it's difficult to take their peril seriously. Then again, having them squabble a lot and then die horribly isn't that funny.

Feels like some students' final year project.

Conclusion: A good idea that's spread too thin. Could do better.

Explosions: A couple.
Laughs: Occasional.
Scares: Few.
Stereotypes: Everyone.
Entertaining moments which aren't in the trailer: None.

Rating: 2/5.

Labels: comedy, film review, horror, quick

  9:01 AM - Permanent Link - 2 comments - Post comment - Links to this post